2011 summed up.

• January: New school, with new fresh thoughts. I felt so alone and nervous. Spent my days locked inside due to lack of positive emotions and friends.
• February: Climax of my depression, and the cutting begins. Sent to a behavioral institute for trying to numb the pain. Probably my darkest month the whole year.
• March: Out in the open where I shouldn’t be. I lost my father to greed and money. This month consisted of crying alone, and feeling isolated even though my new ‘friends’ were with me.
• April: I stopped cutting for a short moment and was happy too. At least, I think it was happiness? Never did my homework; was too busy laying in my bed feeling nothing.
• May: I got a new boyfriend; that didn’t help me at all. I just brought him on a crazy ride with me. Planned my second suicide but he cut in. Should I thank him? Or hold a grudge?
• June: I broke up with him. Since there was no more school, I spent my summer doing nothing but being consumed by hidden monsters and insecurities.
• July: My 17th birthday with my supposed best friend. I actually quite enjoyed myself. Started my new age with a new hair style too.
• August: No sleep, all a dark blur.
• September: Hoping for a change in my looks or personality. My overall being pretty much. I feel like the new kid all over again.
• October: A little bit of hope was shown my way, but overthrown by pain. a month filled with loneliness and hope.
• November: More suitable.
• December: Too much sleep. Filled with relaxation, then terror, and then more terror. Starting the new years with shame and bleakness.

January 26th, 2012 @ 7:14pm | 2 notes

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